Days Gone Bad (Vesik ebook 01)

You are cordially invited to the wedding of

Elizabeth Berry
and
Michael William Wagner
On the twenty third of April, two o’clock
The Jewel Box in Forest Park
RSVP …

“Blah, blah, blah …” I groaned and set the invitation down. “Sam’s going to have an aneurysm over this one.”

I walked to my old green fridge, popped the cap off a bottle of ale, and started scrounging for some food. I pressed a few buttons on my personal chef, a.k.a. microwave, and turned on the television. It was depressing. Every station was running the latest Amber Alert, flashing the picture of a missing girl with huge blue eyes and the devil’s smile. Hopefully this girl gets a happy ending. The last two sure as hell didn’t. I turned the set off and waited for my gourmet dinner to finish cooking. My phone rang about ten minutes later, interrupting a freshly microwaved chimichanga.

“Damn, that was fast.” I let the phone ring a few times while I shoveled in a forkful of chimichanga and leaned back on my battered leather couch. My eyes passed over the outdated wood paneling on my ceiling and walls, taking in the meager light from two small lamps while I swallowed my dinner.

“Hello?” I said with the phone a good four inches from my ear.

“That, that, that … bitch!”

I stabbed the fork into my chimichanga and set the plate on my oversized oak coffee table. “Hey, Sam. You got Beth’s invite.”

She snarled something I couldn’t quite make out.

I put the phone between my shoulder and ear, and slowly persuaded the coffee table to come closer. “Can I get the English translation on that?”

Sam puffed into the phone and said, “Don’t start.”

It was impossible to stifle a chuckle. I could just see her lips curling back and her black hair framing the rage on her face as she yelled into the phone.

“Thanks, Damian. Some brother you are.”

“I’m getting the guilt loud and clear. Where’s the spite?”

“Ah ha … ha … ha. Ass. I just can’t believe it. She was my best friend! She sent the invite less than a week before the wedding! I can’t believe that bitch is marrying my old boyfriend.”

“You did die, you know.”

“Not. Helping.”

“Sorry, sorry. Look, I never had any real issues with Beth, she was always nice and—”

“Shut. Up. Damian. You’re just saying that because she slept with you.”

My jaw slackened in mock offense. “Oh, come on sis, it was only one time and—”

“I repeat, she slept with you.”

I took another oversized bite of chimichanga before I said, “Comf omf Samf.” I swallowed. “I was a teenager, what was I supposed to do?” Beth was, well, she was a valley goth girl when we were kids. Total wannabe, and the instant my sister told her I could see the occasional phantasm and sometimes hear the dead talk, Beth was all over me.

Sam’s exasperation came over the phone in a puff of static.

“I take it you won’t be giving a toast?”

Sam’s breathing evened out. “Maybe, maybe I’ll tell the guests about the time Beth accidentally slept with Mister Brown—”

“The math teacher?”

“—right before I turn the whole effing wedding party into vamps, or, or, give me a minute, I’ll come up with something good. I’ll do something horrible to her wedding. I’ll make it the worst wedding day anyone could imagine. I want it to rain frogs while zombies rise up behind the wedding party and, hell, you just better buy the tux insurance.”

I choked on a mouthful of ale and blinked at the phone a few times through watering eyes. “You want to know something, sis?”

“What?”

“Ale burns like a bitch when you shoot it through your nose.”

She burst into laughter.

“Glad I could help.” I rubbed my cheek while my brain scrambled for a way to defuse my sister, the vampiric time bomb. I knew she wasn’t going to let it go and I couldn’t even nudge her mind in a different direction over the phone.

“So, Demon, are you in? You could bring some zombies. It’ll be a whole new spin on wedding crashers.”

My eyes glanced down at the invitation as I wiped the ale off my nose. Forest Park, eh? There were a few interesting things I could do there. Art Museum, Zoo, pigeons, all kinds of trouble. I grinned, and I’m sure it was an evil grin. “Tell you what, leave everything to me. I’m not going to kill her husband to be, much to your disappointment, I’m sure, but I’ll make it memorable. Consider it an early birthday present.”

Silence.

“How about it, Sam?”

She sighed. “Alright, but if you don’t make it good, I’ll wrap that bitch up as a present for my new brothers to eat.”

I stared at the receiver and wondered for a second if my sister was joking. I laughed nervously as my chimichanga curdled in my stomach.